Overlord Academy

What you wear as an Evil Overlord is very important, as discussed earlier. There are some articles of clothing that should never be worn, ever, by anyone. These pieces of clothing should be banned from society, with a very severe punishment allotted for law infringement. Anything spandex is straight out, wrong. What it shows off and removes from any need for an imagination is wrong. No matter how attractive you may think you are, spandex is not the way to go.

This leads us into swimming suits, since they can be made of like material. If you are planning on walking around, not actually out in the water at the beach or pool, then you need to cover up. Big, skinny, tall, short. I do not care, cover up if you aren’t swimming. The reason for this is simple, and leads into our next article of clothing, shorts.

Unless you are in private, or involved in an activity like swimming or other sport, do not wear shorts. The reason for this is simple. Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Odds are you are pasty white to begin with. If you were to go out in the sun dressed like that, the rest of us would be blinded from the glare. Next, the odds are you are extremely underweight and therefore have chicken legs, or you are larger than you should be, and have excess skin flappage. Again, no one wants to see that. But wait, you say. I have perfect legs, and a beautiful tan! No I doubt it. There are so few perfect legs, with perfect coloring, that you should really stop trying to kid yourself. Your legs are hideous, and I do not want to see them!

Shorts are bad. I do not want to see you in them. Unless of course, you are one of the small handful with a perfect body and image. For the viewing enjoyment of everyone, you may wear shorts. You may apply for a short license at any public relations office. You will be put through a strict test, measuring color, drool factor of the opposite sex, muscle tone, length, and other good taste judgments. It is not an easy test to pass. Those who fail the test will be executed for forcing the test administrators to look at your hideous legs.