Overlord Academy

July 17, 2007


Filed under: government,world domination — Elvenbane @ 1:10 pm

It is a sad fact that politics take such a predominant place in our society. If it were not for politics, we would probably all be living in peace with our neighbors, and have everything that we could ever want. On the flip side, if we were all living in peace, there would be no need for someone to be an Evil Overlord.

As a prospective Evil Overlord, you need to learn politics, and how to manipulate them. There is a lot of power available to the right person, you just need to muscle your way into the right position. Make connections, get to know people from all walks of life. If you have a bridge, be careful not to burn it. Once you have a network of people established, you can wield your little army with precision to accomplish all sorts of tasks pertinent to your take over plans. You can also use this army to manipulate local governments, rules, and regulations, to make your bid for world domination that much easier. Just be very careful to never contradict yourself, or to make a fool of yourself. Unlike Al Gore who is consistently in the news for all the wrong reasons.

July 16, 2007

Mrs. Evil Overlord

Filed under: world domination — Elvenbane @ 2:16 pm

Another problem with being married, as Evil Overlord, is that in order to tolerate being married to you, the Evil Overlord, your spouse will naturally have some of the same qualities necessary for an Evil Overlord. What this means, is that your wife will quickly earn on her own activities, the title of Mrs. Evil Overlord.

It will not take long before she will be trying to not just kill off your friends, and trusted advisors, but maybe even you. She will want her own entourage, slaves, and secret laboratory. Soon she will have her own doomsday device, and will be threatening to destroy the world if she doesn’t get her way, or if she gets really mad. Meaning, the world will be threatened once a month, every month.

If you find that you are already married, you had better learn to harness her anger, and focus it on your own plans. Keep her engaged in activities that will benefit both of you. You cannot ignore her, nor do you want her to gain more power than you yourself have. If that fact is inevitable, embrace the fact that people will soon be calling your wife, Mrs. Evil Overlord. And be prepared.

July 9, 2007

Weather Control

Filed under: world domination — Elvenbane @ 1:41 pm

There is some type of weather that you absolutely dislike. I hate rain. Snow I love, and sleet I can tolerate, but rain, I hate. If I could, I would eliminate rain all together. However, I am not a great fool, I know how important rain is for sustaining life, especially my own. Instead of eliminating rain, if I had a weather control device, I could turn off the rain if I had something planned for the outdoors, or even for a few minutes as I need to be outdoors. Making life for the Evil Overlord, me, so much more enjoyable.

As a side benefit of a weather control device, it can be used as or in conjunction with a dooms day device. It can also be used to target parts of the world to make them fruitful once more. There are many deserts which get very little moisture which could be turned into fertile soil. There are other parts that get too much rain, and they can be toned down a lot. So the evil overlord would not be the only one benefitting from a weather control device.

It is too important, you must be able to control the weather. It works like this, you have this device, and it controls the weather. It is simple. The design is beautiful. Everyone will want one, and only one will have it.

July 5, 2007

Pursuing Other Opportunities

Filed under: world domination — Elvenbane @ 2:57 pm

If an employee ever gives the reason for employment termination as, “Pursuing Other Opportunities,” or something similar, you are in for some rough roads. We all know that the unspecified other opportunity is a very lucrative position with the competition, and they do not want you to know about it. You do not want them to leave, because you know that they will leak out all of your plans, and business dealings. This is really bad, because us an Overlord hopeful, your competition is another Overlord hopeful. Someone as ruthless as you. You do not want to make a counter offer, because you know they are unhappy under your employ, and may seek extra funds by selling company secrets on the side.

You are left with but a single option. Shoot to kill. You do not want your plans leaked. You do not want any possibility of it happening. Even if the individual had zero access and zero knowledge, you still want to prevent the other guy from having a top notch employee. You know they are top notch because otherwise, you would not have hired them.

A side benefit of this course of action is that employees will no longer be interested in pursuing other opportunities. If they know they will be shot, they are not going to be looking. If they are not looking, they will not know who to go to attempting to sale your secrets.  You now have to work on ways of keeping them from going postal, but at least your secrets are safe.

July 3, 2007

Alien Technology

Filed under: government,war — Elvenbane @ 6:39 am

If your scientists are ever lucky enough to stumble upon alien technology, exploit the new technology as much as you can. Reverse engineer everything possible. Use this new knowledge all throughout your empire. This will serve two purposes. The first, and most obvious, is that you will be so much farther ahead than your enemies. They will still be operating in today’s technology, while you will have the power of the future. The second, and probably the most crucial, when the aliens who mistakenly introduced their technology to you returns, you will be prepared for them.


Since you have already learned everything possible from their technology, they will not have anything to offer in exchange for help or what have you. You will probably also have discovered their armament and have that spread across your empire, making it so much easier to take down and destroy the aliens. After all, the odds are that they are here on Earth for a more sinister plan than just passing by, or to collect their fallen comrades. They are more than likely scoping the place out, figuring out how best to destroy us all. If you can fight back with their own technology, they aren’t going to want to start anything, and may just leave everything alone.


If these aliens turn out to be giant autonomous robots, technology alone is not going to save us. They are going to be big piles of moving, heavy, metals. They can and will crush you like a bug. At this point, your only hope is that an opposing alien robot force comes to fight along side your armies. At the end of the battles, odds are they are going to want something as well. So just make sure you have something in reserve to take them out as well.

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