I am officially declaring war upon pigeons.
During this past winter, a mob of these trash birds took up residence on the roof of the Academy. I was completely unwilling to climb up there in the snow and ice to take care of the problem, and the janitor staff managed to get roof work in their contract. I had no choice but to address it myself. (I may be plotting world domination, but I am not there yet. I must still follow the law.) Fortunately a couple of hawks took up residence nearby and scared the pigeons away. I was, however, left with an awful, smelly mess.
Over the weekend I found some time to finally get up there and fully assess the situation. I was dumbfounded at how bad things really were! The rain gutters were completely full of bird poop! Several sections of the roof were completely covered as well. I quickly gathered a few tools, garbage bags and my trusty leather gloves. I then ascended back up to the roof and began clearing the mess. Three garbage bags and thirty minutes of high water pressure later, the roof is once again, clean. There were even dead birds buried in all that poop! It was one giant disgusting mess! New torture method, burial up to the head in bird crap.
If the birds ever show up again, there will be no mercy. Out will come the spike strips. Out will come the traps. And out will come the bags of poisoned bird food. This past winter did not have mercy, only laziness. But that to will be gone if those filthy things return! I had a strong dislike for them before, but now it is pure hatred!