Overlord Academy

December 20, 2007

The Perfect Plan Has a Fallacy

Filed under: world domination — Elvenbane @ 11:16 am

The greatest evil empire in existence today has a major critical flaw. The stores started by Sam Walton have everything at cheap prices. Customers are driven there with the promise of smaller bill at the end of the day. At first glance everything appears to be set up with perfection, and despite the obligatory naysayers, the casual observer would swear that the plan is perfect. There is a glaring flaw which they seem powerless to correct.

Once you have collected in your cart everything your heart could desire from the heavily leaden shelves, you make your way to the checkout stands. With a simpletons grin, you are amazed at how many cashiers there are. You gleefully take your place at the end of a given line assuming that your turn will be quick in coming.

About twenty minutes later, you are horrified in the realization that you have only moved forward the length of two carts. With time, and repeat visits, you are further horrified that you continue to subject yourself to this hell. You have no loyalty to the empire, and only continue parting with your money because there is not a better place to go for all of your shopping needs under one roof. If something better were to come along, you would be among the first to go.

So what is it that ruins the shopping experience? It is not the cashier, the poor soul who is forced to take the brunt of frustrated shoppers. It is the poorly designed checkout stands. There are no clearly designated lines, each aisle leads to two stands. Customers who have finished their transactions are blocked by customers waiting their turn, which backs up the already clogged lines. There is no room to place items on the stands in preparation of checking out, and the rotary bag holders forces the customer to check, double check, even triple check that they have collected all of their bags. There is no location for large items to be placed, and the whole setup has limited surface space to even collect the items. Instead of quickly gathering the paid for items, the customer is forced to slow down and painfully collect their items, further backing up the lines.

This single poor experience has ruined the potential loyalty of these customers, thus leaving a huge open door for competition to step in and take over the market. As a budding Evil Overlord you need to learn from Sam’s mistake. The last experience a customer has defines the total experience. However you entice your subjects to take their first steps to captivity is one thing, but winning their hearts and therefore their loyalty is something else altogether.

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