Overlord Academy

March 12, 2008

Babble Talk

Filed under: government,world domination — Elvenbane @ 12:04 pm

Every regime has a desperate need to communicate quickly and precisely, having no fear of the opposing forces understanding what is being said. Ever. Before communism, during the height of the czars reign, the royal court spoke french. I am certain this is what led to their downfall, but they were on the right track. Royalty could easily communicate, and the peasants and servants would have no clue as to what was being spoken. State secrets were indeed kept secret from the populace, as long as no one spoke french.

As Evil Overlord, you need to follow the old Russian examples. You need a secret language that only a few trusted advisors can speak and understand. It needs to be versatile yet precise. It needs to be quick yet all encompassing. These seem as opposites, but they are doable. English started out that way, until all the rules and exceptions cluttered it all up. You need to employ a brilliant linguist.

The linguist that you hire will be given the task of devising an entirely new language. You may or may not choose to utilize a new alphabet. I encourage you to do so since it adds a secondary level of secrecy. Have him focus first on battle and business language. You can begin to use the new language right away. Internal memos, and over the air communication will be safe and secure.

However it is important that you hire a competent linguist. If you fail to do so, the new language will be broken quickly by the opposing governments and therefore compromising your safety. You will of course be forced to execute the previous linguist and hire a new one. The obvious problem with this course of action is the need to learn a new language all over again. The Evil Overlord has precious little free time as it is.

A true babel fish will destroy any hope of pulling this off.

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