As I stroll through the halls of our illustrious school, I am confronted with sights that appall, and smells noxious enough to kill a fully capable adult skunk at three hundred yards. I am referring to your attire, and your personal hygiene.
As I have chatted with a few of you, I have discovered the root cause of these atrocities. Many of you feel that as Evil Overlord, you do as you want. Wear what you want. Groom as you wish. This is wrong! More than anyone, the necessity of your proper dress and groom designates your class in life. Dress like a slob, people will consider you a slob and treat you accordingly. Dress to the amount of respect you want from people, and they will give you that respect. If the people do not respect you, they will constantly struggle to overthrow you. Thus causing your reign to be a troublesome burden for you.
Other than the respect desired from your subjects, you should greatly be concerned with your health. Poor grooming and dress standards lead to poor health. Poor health leads to an early grave. As an Evil Overlord we want to live forever. Rule our people for a long time to come.
Therefore, effective immediately, the suggested dress code is now the mandatory dress code. Anyone found to be breaking this dress code will be publicly executed. The Overlord Academy does not teach second rate students.
For those unaware of the dress code, this quick summary should be enlightening. No clothing should be revealing in any way. Dress as though you were going to church. Show respect in dress to those around you. Show respect to your neighbors by bathing regularly. Wear deodorant. Keep your hair clean, and well combed. If you insist on having facial hair, keep it clean, and neatly trimmed. Stay away from the ZZ Top look.