I am not completely certain on this, but I think that someone has attempted my assassination. What is even worse, they seem to have enlisted the unwitting assistance of one of the Evil Offspring.
Over the weekend, one of my spawn became very ill. Throwing up, and everything else you would associate with a bad flu. Who do you think contracted the illness next? That’s right, me! I spent all day yesterday either in bed or in the bathroom. By the end of the day, I wished I was dead! To make matters worse, in the middle of the night, I developed a head splitting migraine! Centered in my left eye, it did not just hurt bad, it ruined my balance, screwed up my vision, and nauseated me doubly so than the illness.
Now that I seem to be recovering, I am torn. On one hand, I would not wish this upon my worst enemy. On the other hand, BWAHAHAHA!
When I find out who started this, executions shall ensue!