Overlord Academy

October 18, 2007

Overlord Theme Park

Filed under: government,office,seat of power,world domination — Elvenbane @ 7:54 pm

Having put much thought into how best to convert the younger generations to your way of thinking, coupled with a forced trip to a cartoon based theme park in southern California, an Overlord Theme Park would be a perfect tool. Walt realized what he had in California, but recognized flaws in the initial design. He started plans for a better design in Florida, but died before completion. This is for the best, since his heirs have screwed up so badly, that they will never be able achieve what we will hope to achieve. 

Building upon Walt’s plans, we will do things differently. For starters, we will have the luxury to build wherever we want, because as Overlord, we do not care what we destroy to build what we want. We want to build where good weather is almost guaranteed, and getting to and from does not present new problems. Southern California would be ideal, minus all the liberals and tree huggers, and the extreme overcrowding. Nevada is too hot and dry. Utah gets snow and despite being a desert, a lot of rain. But manageable in southern Utah. Arizona is hot, dry, but has potential in more mountainous areas. So there are some good locations, wide open, and close to all ready established freeways.  We follow the plans for that place in Florida, one giant basement under the entire park. Access ways throughout the park allow for character movement without being seen, as well as keeping an eye on potential troublemakers. All utilities can be piped around in this area as well making future expansion easy and more flexible. Garbage cleanup is a must and can be gathered through vacuum tubes (central vac) also in this basement area. Storage safe from the elements can also be located here. In essence, we have a very useful space, completely out of the site of the public. Use your imagination. 

Visible to the public, outside and inside the park, very careful planning and effort needs to go into landscaping, building placement, shopping, and attractions. Quick and easy access needs to be provided which still maintains absolute security (your life is worth it right?) and minimal loss to potential income. Get the people in and out fast with no hidden surprises, while collecting money. All attractions need to be fun, with minimal wait times. People hate waiting. All attractions need to be based on a character, story, or other form of entertainment, making it easier for the public to become attached. Attached people have a hard time giving something up. This translates into more money and brain washing opportunities. Although we absolutely despise tree huggers and the whole hippie movement, we do want lots of trees, and other plant life. If nothing else, it provides shade, and other cooling factors. If you had to stand in line, would you rather be standing in the middle of an asphalt square, or under a tree? 

If you feel that a city sized park is what you want, be sure to provide free transportation around the park. If the back of the park never gets visited because it is too far away, you have wasted time, money, and overcrowded other parts of the park. Making a bad experience for attendees, and a disillusionment in your abilities as Evil Overlord. 

Finally, change is good. If a ride gets old or stale, don’t hang onto it for sentimental reasons. Continually give the park a face lift. New rides and attractions equate to potentially new visitors. Large, permanent, even trendy structures may seem like good ideas, but eventually the newness wears off, and you find yourself stuck with an eyesore with very limited usefulness. Learn from Walt’s mistakes, and admire his ideas. If used properly, generations will find themselves endeared to you instead of rebelling against you.

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