Overlord Academy

April 11, 2008

Do Not Care Packages

Filed under: government,law,office,world domination — Elvenbane @ 1:07 pm

I am fairly certain that most of society knows what a care package is. Especially in the sense of a VIP gift bag. The Evil Overlord needs to implement a Do Not Care Package system. I am sure once implemented it will quickly become more popular than the care package ever was. Instead of only using for special events, the Do Not Care Package can be used at any time one wished to convey their disappointment, disgust or even just their innate vileness.

The true beauty of this new system of showing your true feelings is that you can time these gifts to arrive at the perfect time to cause the recipient further embarrassment or other uncomfortable situations. For example, at a couple’s 50 year anniversary, you could send the wife compromising photographs of her husband. You of course want him to have a better understanding of where he ranks with you. (For you slower learners, you have a problem with the husband not the wife.)

The really neat thing with this new system is that it truly can be used whenever. You do not need a special reason. You could send the Do Not Care Packages to your heart content, or save them all for that one special moment to capitalize on their pain and anguish.

Perfect for the Evil Overlord!

2 Responses to “Do Not Care Packages”

  1. Red Stapler says:

    What kind of wrapping paper do you recommend for one of these packages?

  2. Elvenbane says:

    Water logged old newspaper would be fine.
    If the point is to make something obvious, plastic wrap works very well.

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